It's been a week since I last posted, but I have a reason, an excuse or whatever you want to call. I just didn't. No, seriously though, I wanted to finish my manuscript on Alexia Broussard. I finished the first draft on Thursday.

The internet can be distracting sometimes. I've had days where I spent most of the day going back and forth in emails with people and then look and see that I didn't get hardly anything done on my TO DO LIST. I've gotten better though. When I'm working on something, I tell people who Instant Message me I'm busy and I put a lot of my yahoogroups on digest mode.

I really love my character Alexia...too bad, I had to end it when I did...she'll never be forgotten. I'll be watching mystery and suspense movies because next week, I'll be working on my thriller.
I have to put on the script hat again. I took a chance and posted on a movie board. Hopefully, I'll get some hits and emails from producers. We'll see. It'll only be up for 7 days. 1 down 6 to go.

The self publishing class I'm facilitating will be going into week 3 on Monday. I never thought I would be using what I learned to help someone else. It feels good.

Reading relaxes me, so I'll probably read A MOMENT OF JUSTICE by John Wooden. He's a buddy of mine and the book hasn't been released yet. The brother is talented, so I'm hoping he gets picked up soon or publishes it himself.

I'm taking a break from writing for a few days, but will be back at it on Monday.

Ok, I've rambled enough in this post.

On the personal front, things are status quo, ok, nothing earth shattering, but no drama either, so it's all good.

¶ 4:50 PM //

I can't sleep past 6 am for some reason. Oh well. I got up, did what I do most mornings.

Remind me not to read THE GOOD HOUSE by Tanarive Due before going to bed. She is an excellent story teller. She's like a female version of Steven King. I'm hooked on her books. I woke up several times thinking I heard something in the living room (no I'm not crazy...yet...smile).

Anyway, I'm about to start working on my manuscript. Let me go while the creative wheels are turning in my head. (seriously, I'm not crazy.)

Hope this turns into a productive day.
GOOD DAY!!!

¶ 9:50 AM //

Today has been interesting. I went to this orientation that resulted in NOTHING. I was told I needed one more document. A document they failed to mention 3 weeks ago. A document they failed to mention the countless times I've called. The situation is FRUSTRATING to say the least. Apparently this particular opportunity is not for me. It shouldn't be this difficult. When I worked for the hwy patrol I didn't have to go through that much b.s. Anyway. I got my car back and it looks GOOD. They actually fixed something "they weren't suppose to." I'm greatful for it.

I've only written 1 page today. Just hadn't been too productive with trying to find a full time gig and things. I have an online chat tonight about The Honeywell, so I need to get off this computer and do somethings before 7.

¶ 5:41 PM //

This is the story I'm working on now. It's part of an anthology with 4 other talented writers. Unfortunatey, I can't say too much about the anthology, my writing comrades will kill me...smile...I can say this...GET READY YALL. The characters are fresh and lively and I feel they're going to have you reading and coming back for more. I hope Alexia's story will stay true to the theme and advance the story along. I'll let my character introduce herself.

ALEXIA BROUSSARD
By Shelia M. Goss

INTRODUCTION

Hi Y’all

Yes, every now and then my accent does slip out. I’m from New Orleans, home of jazz and good cooking. My family owns a five-star restaurant, Aunt Sudie’s Place, specializing in French and Cajun cuisine. Aunt Sudie was a great aunt who was an ex-slave. She used to cook out of her house located on the outskirts of the French Quarters. People would travel from miles around just to get a taste of her shrimp etoufee or sweet potato pie. Most of the recipes I use for my catering service are courtesy of Aunt Sudie and my Grandma Hattie. It was natural for me to fall into the family business. I went to college, got my Bachelor of Arts, and learned as much as I could at the restaurant. People tell me I’m a natural when it comes to cooking. Not too many people can cook better than I can and I’m being modest. I never measure ingredients, I just know how much to use. It must be in the blood.


My family and friends was surprised when I decided to venture out on my own and move to D.C. ten years ago. Little did they know I was running away from a man, who not only broke my heart, but tried to break my spirit too. As soon as I kicked him out, I packed my bags, called the movers, and headed to Washington D.C. I thought I would have better luck with men in a place where people didn’t know the name of Broussard. Sometimes I feel like I’m cursed, because no matter who I meet, it seems to end in disaster.

You would think an educated, successful businesswoman, such as myself wouldn’t have a problem finding a man. The problem is not finding a man, but the right one. Let me rephrase it, a GOOD one. Don’t let beauty fool you. I think men are surprised when they realize this 5’8, Creole complexion, hazel-eyed beauty has more going for her than looks. I didn’t realize people could be so shallow. I’m in my 30s and my friends don’t know how hard I work at keeping my shape. They don’t know I was the overweight child in school and my biggest fear is gaining all of the weight back. It’s hard maintaining this weight with me owning this catering service, because I pride myself on tasting everything before it heads out the door. If I don’t like it, I don’t expect any of my clients to.

Anyway, where was I? Men assume I’m younger than what I am, but that’s because of my genes. Maybe they can’t handle beauty and brains. I’ve fallen in and out of love more than I care to count. So much so, my motto is “To live is to love, to love is to hurt.” I’m not looking to fall in love and how can I, when I keep meeting dogs? I don’t mean to say all men are dogs, but if they have to be, can they at least be tamed.

I treasure the time I have with my friends and the occasional trips back home visiting my family. To my family and friends, I’m just a nosy body, always getting in somebody else’s business. I know that’s what they say about me behind my back. I can’t help the fact people tell me ALL of their business and I do mean all of it. If they only knew sometimes I don’t care to hear all about their drama. I have enough drama of my own. See, I’m just too nice sometimes. If someone calls me and sounds distressed, I think its my duty to listen and give them my two-cents worth of advice. I figure if they didn’t need the advice they wouldn’t have called. Am I wrong for that? I don’t think so.

Now, the problem I have is when people try to get into my business. I have to have my privacy. You would too, if you had to grow up with two brothers and two sisters who were always in your space. Me being the youngest, I always had to tag along. I think that’s why I’m wise for my age. Hanging around older kids and adults at a young age will do it to you.

I sure wish I had some bubble gum. I don’t know why I’m nervous. I always have to have some Hubba Bubba with me. I try to not to blow bubbles when I’m around people, but sometimes I forget and the next thing you know, one creeps out. I laugh as I think about the time I blew a bubble in a Senator’s face. He was praising my food and all eyes were on me. Believe it or not, I like to stay in the background. But anyway, I was listening to him and before you know it, a big juicy pink bubble came out of my mouth. Talking about embarrassing. If you want to get on my good side, forget bringing me chocolate candy; bring me some bubble gum.

I’ve been thinking about using Rowena’s match making service. If I do, I know the other ladies will probably talk about me. I’ve been against the whole idea from the beginning. I don’t know why Rowena invested her money in it. If there are people out there going through what I’m going through, I see why. It’s ashamed I can’t find a decent date on my own. I must be crazy to even consider it. If I do decide to use it, Rowena better keep her mouth shut.

It’s getting late. I better get some rest. I am scheduled to cater a luncheon at the Capitol. I need to get there real early to make sure everything is intact. A trip to the Magic Hands will be in order after this luncheon.

GOOD NIGHT!!!
Alexia Broussard

¶ 8:30 AM //

Good morning.

I didn't post anything on Tuesday. Not that I didn't have anything going on, I wasn't online too much.

I finished reading THE HONEYWELL by Gloria Mallette. It was GOOD. The mother, Esther was a trip. She was a black madame. She pimped her daughter at the age of 16 to pay for rent and it contiued until in her 30s. How could a woman, a mother pimp their own daughter is beyond me. In a warp sense, the mother really loved her daughter. Man, the writer really did a good job with the story. This was the first book I've read by Mallette, so I might have to go check out te other 2 she has out.

On a personal front, things are goin okay. I'm taking it one day at a time. Last night we went out and saw UNDERWORLDS...action film about vampires and werewolfs. Surprisely, it was a good movie. I can see a part 2 in the horizon. Sunday night we saw the 3rd installment for the MATRIX. It was okay. A little disappointing. The 1st Matrix was by far the best one to me.

Anyway, thing on the agenda for today include going to the post office and the office supply store.

I am also one of the hosts for the online Self Publishing Workshop. I sent out the 1st email last night. We don't have that many students, which is surprising; since we both have seen a lot of questions going across in several yahoogroups. Well anyway, we're going to do our best and teach the few students we have some "tricks of the trade."
So they won't have to learn the hardway.

Another book club will be doing my book as their "BOOK OF THE MONTH" for February. I'm elated. So far, I have at least 5 month of being BOOK OF THE MONTH since September of last year. Over here doing the CABBAGE PATCH...lol

I haven't written much in the past 2 days, so I'll be making up for it today.

Peace

¶ 8:25 AM //

"Will our Society ever be Color-Free?" I've had countless conversations on this issue. Today being the day we celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr’s birthday and leading up to Black History Month, makes me wonder even more.

In this day and time, we shouldn't be dealing with racial issues, but we are.

In this day and time, our children should be free to live in a society that will accept them on their merits, not the color of their skin.

Whether you're Black, Hispanic, White, etc...it shouldn't matter. What should matter is your character? How can we develop the character of our kids if we're always having to explain the ignorance and hatred of some people's actions?

Do you think our society will ever be color-free? Email me at sheliagoss@aol.com and let me know your thoughts.

To add some food for thought, here's a poem I wrote on the subject.

Color-Free
© 2003 by Shelia M. Goss

The color of my skin shouldn't define me
Because when I go out of this country,
American is all they see.

My Brown-sugar, Caramel, Ebony, Hershey-chocolate,
Mahogany, Mocha, Vanilla complexion
Is only an outer shell.
You have to dig Deeper,
If you want to know
What's embedded in my mind.

My skin color might hint to my Races
Past struggles and pain,
But don't lose the fact that we're
Individuals and not all the same.

One day I hope we can all
Be one big happy family
In the meantime, I'll leave a legacy
To the younger generation.

Show by example on how to get through
Life's complications.
I will teach them how to love
Through my own interactions.

I will show them how to give
And not wait for someone's reaction.
I will encourage them to dream and not
Let society dictate who they can be.

I will show them the benefit of believing in
Oneself, but most of all in a Higher Being.

I hope to see the manifestation of my vision
A society that's COLOR-FREE.

Until Next Time,

Peace and Love,

Shelia

¶ 10:47 AM //

HAPPY MLK DAY. Here's an excerpt from the late Martin Luther King, JR.

ANOTHER REASON TO LOVE YOUR ENEMIES


... There’s another reason why you should love your enemies, and that is
because hate distorts the personality of the hater. We usually think of what
hate does for the individual hated or the individuals hated or the groups
hated. But it is even more tragic, it is even more ruinous and injurious to
the individual who hates. You just begin hating somebody, and you will begin
to do irrational things. You can’t see straight when you hate. You can’t
walk straight when you hate. You can’t stand upright. Your vision is
distorted. There is nothing more tragic than to see an individual whose
heart is filled with hate. He comes to the point that he becomes a
pathological case. For the person who hates, you can stand up and see a
person and that person can be beautiful, and you will call them ugly. For
the person who hates, the beautiful becomes ugly and the ugly becomes
beautiful. For the person who hates, the good becomes bad and the bad
becomes good. For the person who hates, the true becomes false and the false
becomes true. That’s what hate does. You can’t see right. The symbol of
objectivity is lost. Hate destroys the very structure of the personality of
the hater. ... --by Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (excerpt from sermon
Delivered at Dexter Avenue Baptist Church Montgomery, Alabama, 17 November
1957)

¶ 10:43 AM //

I have to say today's sermon was directed at ME. The subject was FRUSTRATED BY A FOOL. And Lord knows this past week, this has been my case. God is amazing. Everything the pastor preached about was EXACTLY what has been going on in my life these past few days or weeks for that matter. One thing imparticular, I remember him saying is sometimes we assume people will do good by us...or how did he put it...they also apply the FAIR GAME PRINCIPLES. Sometimes my expectations lead to my frustrations when the person I'm dealing with decides to be selfish, etc.

I must stop being FRUSTRATED BY A FOOL. Because if he was smart, he wouldn't be frustrating me in the first place.

I spent the majority of Saturday by myself and enjoyed my "me time." It was great and refreshing. My Saturday night plans got changed. My significant other surprised me and changed his plans. It must have been divine intervention, because my original plans were to just hang out with friends without him. I was determined to have a good time regardless. But we celebrated his birthday a day early and had fun with some friends.

I didn't read anything but my scriptures today. I still need to read The Honeywell by Thursday. Once I pick it up, I'll finish it. When a book is good, it is so hard to put down...know what I mean...smile

I'm in cyberspace checking email, surfing the net...just goofing off. Something I haven't done in awhile. I love the net, but dang, can somebody do something about those darn POP-UPS...I got a pop-up blocker that works when it wants to work.

Let me get back to chatting with my cousin.
Peace Until Next Time.

¶ 6:35 PM //

I'm sleepy and I should be. I couldn't sleep last night. I've been up since 4. I tried to go back to sleep, but my thoughts ran rapid, so I was forced to get up. I got up. Cleaned the master bathroom and bedroom. Got plenty of writing done on this project I'm working on. Even got a chance to catch up on some email (all within 5 hours). Here it is 10 in the morning and I'm still up.

Subconciously, I think I'm trying to wear myself out, so I can get some sleep tonight and try not to worry about the issues that are going on around me.

I am taking my "me time seriously." Between reading and watching some Lifetime Movies, I don't plan on doing much. Pamper me day is in full effect. If I nod off a time or two, than so be it.

I'll miss my sisters and brothers at Half Price Book Store, but my attitude would have been fake today, because I'm exhausted. I love them too much to FAKE THE FUNK. I'm having to dig deep within myself to get beyond some things and being around people will not help.

Now tonight may be a different story, but as of right now...I'm on a solo trip.

Just dropped in for a quick note...now I'm off to RELAX.

P.S. - Got an email request to see 3 chapters of my upcoming novel from a publisher. Yes!!!

¶ 10:24 AM //

V.A. if you read my post today, I want to thank you for the great idea you gave me earlier. My mind is spinning with ideas. Hmm..so many possibilities and it hasn't been done yet. If I can get it jumpstarted, I can't even take the credit, because you suggested it. I'm glad to have such a "genius" for a friend. Yes, I'm smoozing...because you know I'll probably need some help...smile.

P.S. - Thanks for listening to a sista. It helps to get a male perspective on things. You're one of the good ones and I know the lady of your dreams awaits you out there somewhere. So KEEP HOPE ALIVE!!!

Okay. I'm out for real this time.

¶ 1:04 PM //

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it. I finished my spec script and I'm too delighted...Okay...I'm alright now. This week was hard. It took me all week to finish it, but to write under distress and being able to finish it, makes me feel 100 percent better. Ending the week on a good note...YESSS

I'll take a break over the weekend from writing, but will be BACK AT IT on Monday. Working on Alexia Broussard's story. I'll post a little excerpt after this entry. I'm doing it for myself, so when I read my blog on Monday, it'll jumpstart my writing off on the right foot...smile

I'm still trying to find me a DAY JOB. Now I don't understand what's going on with XYZ company, but they've taken my fingerprints, gotten an FBI background done but yet they can't find my application...go figure...so now I have to wait another week and go in and fill out another application. NOw how in the world did I get clearance, but no application can be found. It looks like they need to hire somebody to get them more organized, but of course I didn't tell them that. I put on my fake smile and re-assured them I understood and will see them next week for the next phase.

I have PATIENCE...I'm learning PATIENCE...I have PATIENCE.
Say it three times and I just might believe it...lol

Well I'm about to head out and run some errands and jump start my "me time."

CELEBRATION TIME COME ON (As I sing this song once again, with the first being after I completed the script).

¶ 12:59 PM //

As I sit here listening to ME, MYSELF, AND I by Beyonce, I'm thinking this is the NEW ATTITUDE I need to take on. I might have to go purchase her CD for that one song.

Anyway, I'm on a quest to finish this script today. Got sidetracked with the phone, but I'm about to get back to it. I MUST AND WILL FINISH this thing TODAY.

This weekend, I'll be having some "me time" that's long over due. Buy my favorite perfume, a CD, a book, "The Honey Well." I'll take long baths, read a good book and just meditate and RELAX. Try to do some cleansing.

Well, let me get to writing (since I've tuned out my issues and I'm on a mission to finish.)

Until next time.
PEACE AND LOVE

¶ 9:47 AM //

Today is a new day and it's going to be a great day.

I'm determined to work on this script NO MATTER WHAT. I'm having to push the issues that are going on in my personal life to the side, so I can do what I was ordained to do and that's WRITE.

It seems when you're trying to do right, the adversary is right there to try to discourage you. I'm having to put on the full armor, because that's the only way I'll be able to conquer it.

I just finished going through my email. I like to respond to people within at least a day or less if possible. After I write this entry, I'll be writing.

Yolanda, Jacqu and Glenys have been sending me encouraging words to help me through this bleak period of my life. I'm having to read their emails over and over, but the more positive things you read and say, it becomes a part of your psyche. Right.

One of my favorite shows is on THE VIEW. I got a little distracted for a moment, because they are interviewing Alec Baldwin. That's a sexy man...I'm thinking about using some of his attributes for one of my characters.

Today is the day that I write at least 10 pages.
Today is the day that I will take care of SHELIA.
Today is the day that I will continue to press on inspite of the situation.
Today is a GOOD DAY.

¶ 10:30 AM //

Today has been a very emotional day. It started off on the "wrong track." The love of my life, who it appears may soon be the "ex love" of my life has been tripping. My heart is heavy right now and I'm tired of writing these painful poems. I need to feel some joy in my relationship again. As the pain in my heart subsides for a brief moment, I hope he realizes that the grass ain't greener on the other side. Nothing over there but some tumbleweeds. My imagination may be playing tricks on me, but then again, I do have some experience when it comes to the affairs of the heart and 1 plus 1 equals 2, not 3.

I have to realize everybody is not as mature as I am, so they are bound to play childish games. I'm a straightforward type of person. Don't get me wrong, I always use tact, but I will tell you what I think.
It's hard being opionated these days. But once I hit the 30 mark, I vowed to BE MYSELF and if the man don't like it, OH WELL. NEXT

I'm talking plenty of noise right now. I've gone through several emotions. One moment I'm sad because of the possibility of the demise of a relationshp that I've invested time, energy and my heart in. Another moment, I'm angry, because of the same reason and know that I've poured my all into it. Who wants failure? But when you've done the best you can do, what else can you do?
Then there's the part where I'm numb. Don't know which way to go, so I don't show any type of emotion. It's like playing roulette, don't know which way the relationship will go. But does anyone ever.

I thought this was it. You know the last time, I would have to deal with the dating scene. Someone who had my back 24/7. Someone I could depend on to have my best interests at heart. You know the whole nine yards. I had it for a moment. I guess I'm luckier than some, maybe even most.

But now I feel like I would have rather not had experienced any of it all, if it would end up breaking my heart in two. I've only been in love once before and well, I won't even go into it here (not enough bytes in cyberspace to talk about that one...lol). No matter what happens, I will allow myself to FEEL and release the emotions I'm feeling. I know I will be praying and praying and praying, because I need God's strength to embrace me and carrying me through this trying time in my life.

Now that I've depressed myself. I'll stop this entry.

¶ 3:50 PM //

Ok. I went on hiatus for over a month and now I'm going post crazy.

What is love? At one time I thought I knew, but now, I'm just as confused as the next person. As I contemplate on the state of my current relationship, I read over some lyrics I wrote. Is love only a figment of my imagination? Relationshps come and go, but thank God for my writing.

My Heart
© 2004 by Shelia M. Goss

My heart is singing a sad song
My heart is wondering what is going on
Every time I think that I've found the one for me
Something reveals itself and leaves me feeling lonely.

My mind is telling me to leave you alone.
My mind is confused, Can't tell right from wrong.
But every time I think about leaving you alone
Something pulls me back into your arms.

If by chance you're not the man
I thought you to be.
If by chance you're playing games,
Please let me be.

My heart keeps singing this sad song.
My heart doesn't know what's going on.
My mind keeps telling me to leave you alone
But my heart won't let me move on.

Why do I put myself through this
Time and time again.
Why are all these doubts
Swimming around in my head.

My heart keeps singing this sad song.
My heart doesn't know what's going on.
My mind keeps telling me to leave you alone
But my heart won't let me move on.

¶ 4:25 PM //

It's me again. This time I'll get a little more personal.
Sometimes I wonder why certain things happen in my life. I try to take the good with the bad, but lately so many bad things have happened. If it wasn't for my faith in the Almighty God, I know I would just lose my mind over here as I struggle to make it on a writer's budget. Yes, I got hit with the "lay-off bug."

The telecommunications industry is supposedly picking back up, but in reality, I don't see it. Or is it because so many of us got laid off and are applying for the same jobs? I've tried temp jobs. Most say I'm overqualified. Well duh? I know that. If I didn't want the job, I wouldn't have applied. I tell you. Some people.

If I wanted to work on the east coast, I would be working. I'm a southern girl and not that I don't love my east coast peeps (I love yall), I just like the comfort of the south (no snow...hee hee). But I will never say never. Before I have to make the decision to sell my house and move to the East, I pray I have a book deal and/or a job in the south (smile).

On the positive side, I've been able to write some stories during this time. So when I'm accepting that award, I want to thank XYZ company for laying me off. I want to thank XYZ for that nice severance package that allowed me time to find another job (oops...now that's fiction...lol).

UNTIL NEXT TIME
PEACE

¶ 4:17 PM //

Good afternoon,

This is my first post for the New Year. I have to credit a Sisterfriend for getting me back in the mode to post. So many things have happened in these two short months. I will try to focus on the positive ones in this entry. I'll get a little personal in the next entry (smile).

My book, ROSES ARE THORNS, VIOLETS ARE TRUE, was chosen as book of the month for a couple of book clubs in January. I'm over here turning cartwheels. To me, that's like being told you won an award.

I have a lot on my plate this year. I released my first ebook, Love UnExpected this month. I completed my second fiction novel, MY INVISIBLE HUSBAND in December. I look forward to its August 2004 release. I'll start promoting it around March or so.

I'm working on a novella that will be part of an anthology with some great writers. I feel privileged to be in their company. I'm so excited about this project. All I can say is, it's going to be HOT...My character's name is ALEXIA BROUSSARD. Alexia is dying to tell her story. She'll get her chance in a few days too.

I received soME bad news a few minutes ago about one of my projects. Well, I guess I should say it's been a delay. But I want it NOW...smile

Not only do I write novels, I'm working on a script to enter into this contest. I've written a few other scripts and feel they are pretty good (but who doesn't right). I'm serious. I haven't seen the story done before, but people can relate. If I can only get it into the right producers hands. If you're out there looking for that next big script, call me (wink wink).

Enough about business. The next entry will give you a sneak into the mind of a writer. You'll see I'm just like you. Striving to maintain peace and harmony in my life.

¶ 4:07 PM //