Life has two rules: number 1, Never quit!; number 2, Always remember rule number 1 ~Duke Ellington
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Saturday, May 29, 2004

Abuse is on the rise if the last four books I’ve read is an indication. Each story, although different, had one common theme: abusive relationships.

It made me wonder how many women are actually going through this dilemma.

I hope and pray that none of my readers are and if by chance you are, there are places out there that will help.

I’m not a doctor or psychologist, but I know it’s wrong for a grown man to treat a grown woman like a child. For some reason, abusers think they have the right to discipline someone other than a child.

We as women have to stand up for ourselves. The abuser may not start off hitting. But some of the signs are there before it gets to that point. Such as verbal abuse, possessiveness, unexplained anger. Even paying close attention to how they talk to and treat others can warn you of their potential behavior.

Unless it’s divine intervention, most abusers will continue to abuse.

The lame old excuse “If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t hit you.” is a bunch of crap.
You do not abuse something you love.

How many “I’m sorry” will it take for them to stop? If it happens once, there’s a greater chance for it to happen again, and again and again.

So I say to the woman who may be in an abusive relationship. Only YOU can put a stop to the endless violent cycle. Only YOU have control over what you allow to happen to you. You are WORTHY. Don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t.

Take control over the situation. Seek help. Get out of that destructive relationship. Do whatever you have to do to STOP THE MADNESS.

If you are or someone you know are being abused, please contact your local women’s shelter for assistance.

Or you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for more information. The website is

I welcome feedback from readers. In future issues, I will be answering questions from readers concerning issues on various subjects. If you have a question for AskOhShelia!, please send an email to:

Until Next Time,
Peace and Love,

Shelia M. Goss is also the Author of Roses are Thorns, Violets are True and My Invisible Husband. See more info at:

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