When I got the word that my grandmother had passed this pass weekend, I was numb. She was 92 years old and people say, "well she lived a blessed life" or "well, she lived a long life;" it still doesn't make her passing easy.

The realization that my Daddy's mom is no longer here didn't hit me until yesterday while sitting in church, listening to the choir sing, "I shall wear a crown...when it's all over..." The lyrics to the song basically describe how it'll be when you reach the Pearlie gates of Heaven and knowing that my Grandma Carrie is no longer here but in Heaven is reasons to rejoice, but the human side of me is also saddened because she's not here in the physical.

I titled this post "Baby Girl" because that was her nickname. I never called her that, but I observed people around her age or older say that when addressing her.

Never thought tears could make you feel better, but when I cried, it's like the pain I was refusing to acknowledge by being numb, seemed to seep through my body. My legs became wobbly that I had to hold on to something to walk.

Death is inevitable. I pray that she is now in eternal peace.

¶ 6:31 AM

 Stacy-Deanne said...
Sheila, I am sorry about your grandmother's passing. You know, I sit right along with your loss because I never had a grandmother. One was dead before I was born and the other lived until I was about four. I only had one grandfather and he died. I got one who is still living but he never cared enough to keep in touch with the family or meet me so...

So I've always felt weird and sad when I thought of other people's grandparents. I've always felt like I had a hole inside of me. You had the gift of being with your grandmother all the way through your adult life. I never had that. I would have given anything to know the grandmother I never knew and to have back the one that I knew. It's been so long that I hadn't even remembered how my grandmother (I knew) looked until I recently saw a picture. I remember a bit of her voice but it's not the same. I know it's hard and I won't give any advice how to deal with it because no one can tell anyone how to. All I can say is I am sorry and that it must have been great having a grandmother for so long.  

 Jdid said...
my condolences to you. all my grandparents are long dead but I still rememer the way I felt when I heard about their deaths  

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